I scrolled upon this video in my Facebook feed today. Obviously, it’s a great message! Interestingly it’s often met with the same judgement that is critiqued in the video…”people are so quick to judge…”
Let’s just get this out of the way. I’d be lying and sanctimonious if I pretended as if I wasn’t quick to judge ever or even waaay more often than I’d like to admit. I’m human. No more perfect or imperfect than you.
However, let’s offer some glasses that allow us to understand why others (and ourselves) are often so quick to judge.
Stress.
Yep. The typical scapegoat.
There is no denying that modern day humans are under tons of it. In terms of emotional stress, we face too many deadlines and super long to-do lists. There are more things scheduled and things that need to be done than hours of the day. We allow our personal relationships to suffer while we meet others needs. We feel guilty that we don’t spend enough quality time with our kids or spouse and resent that we aren’t able to meet our own personal needs.
We consume toxic food products that are deficient in nutrients because we lack the time to plan and prepare nutritious meals for ourselves and family.
We are toxic in sedentary jobs and so physically and emotionally drained that we can’t overcome our severe deficiency in physical movement to do anything but collapse on the couch.
All of these things are extremely real stresses. While they are not life threatening in the moment, they are life threatening when they become chronic habits.
However, our body responds to ALL stress as if it were life threatening the moment, meaning your boss harping on you or a tiger gnawing on your leg are the same as far as your body is concerned. And if your life was being threatened, it would be very important that you have extreme self-awareness and very little world awareness. It would actually be pathological to care about the little boy crossing behind your moving car if a tiger were chewing on you.
Now that you know that, take a little time to reflect. There’s two considersations that need to occur. First, let’s look at our ourselves. It’s not ok to shrug off your irritation and self-centeredness as stress. You’re not a victim of stress. You have the power to overcome stress.
Think back to “that one time” that you were quick to judge someone. What were you experiencing yourself? Are you more or less likely to quickly judge someone harshly when you’re feeling stressed out?
Second, let’s look at our attempt to understand others. When we see someone who seems to be acting inconsiderate, what could they possibly be dealing with? Is it possible that they lack a resource and that’s contributing to their actions? Are you more or less understanding when you’re stressed?
What’s causing your stress? Some things may be out of your control, but your perspective is always in your control.
The time to practice your stress coping skills is not when you are under stress. We must begin to practice stress relieving skills before a life crisis hits. We have to reflect on the time we lacked the skills, acknowledge the problem and then ask what is needed to make it better next time.
When it comes to determining whether or not people will experience a happy, successful life, it’s clear that that actual events of life have much less influence on the quality of life than the quality of a person’s character and quality of their PERCEPTION of their life events. Who we ARE determines the quality of our lives.
Happiness and life success are about your ability to make value centered choices that enrich your own life as well as the lives of those in your community.
What this means in practical terms is very liberating and very empowering and very encouraging…IF you have the right attitude and perspective.
What this means is that where you are at this moment in terms of your happiness and life success is not based on the events your life has been composed of but your character and your choice of attitude and perspective regarding these events and possible future events.
How we feel is completely based on our own chosen thought patterns. How we feel is based on who we ARE and how successful we are is based on who we ARE.
This is the foundation of Think Well, a component of the 90 Day Lifestyle Program to increase your whole body health and wellness. We spend a lot of time thinking about our food choices, some time thinking about movement, but it seems we take little control over our thoughts. The reality is to get truly health, we need to take control of all three.
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